Blue Eyed Lament
by Plutonian
Summary: She couldn't wake up even if she wanted to.
1. Dying to Live

Okay, so here's the deal with this little bit of fiction: after I wrote "Dreaming to Live" I started thinking about Julia (I suggest you read that before you get to the end of this. You really don't have to, though, it isn't essential). The deeply mysterious, ever elusive Julia. Her story was never really told, from start to finish, and I thought that maybe, if I have even a tiny iota of talent, that I could write it for her. It seemed like a good idea at the time. This may not be what Hajime Yatate had in mind when Julia was created, but I gave it a shot. I'm always one to try anything once.

Disclaimer: All charaters, events, and places related to Cowboy Bebop, belong to their owner (Sunrise, Mr. Watanabe, etc.). All other characters, events, and places come from my twisted little mind.

Blue Eyed Lament  
by Plutonian

_"Tell me this is not the end, Julia…You my love my oldest friend, Julia…"_

One: Dying to Live

She drove, golden locks flying out behind her as her red convertible chewed up the old, broken down asphalt. She had been driving for hours, trying to create as much distance between her and what she was running from. Or rather who. She wasn't sure if she was actually making progress, and at that moment, she wasn't sure how much she cared. There were only two people in the universe she cared about and one was dead and the other wanted her dead. She was fortunate to have experienced love twice, yet unfortunate to have lost them, as well. Now she was forced to just go, no destination in mind, hardly any money to live on, and a persistent aching in her heart. If she could solve at least one of her problems, she figured she would be able to handle the others.

She had to get off the planet if she wanted to live, she decided. Mars, no matter how many happy memories it housed, was not safe any longer. There was no one else she could trust other than herself. Her family was long gone and her friends had long since betrayed her. Or perhaps, she betrayed them. Either way, going back to them would result in a death sentence. There was only one person she could think of that could possibly help her, but it all came back to her leaving Mars; abandoning the car that had served her since she was able to drive and just go. She could do it, she knew she could, it was only a matter of if she wanted to.

Glancing out of the corner of her eye at the rapidly moving scenery, she watched memories drift in and out of her vision, causing a pang of remembrance to form in her stomach. She looked at the waves crashing against the cliffs and she was transported back to a better time. A time when she would splash, carefree, in the clear blue oceans with the one she loved, playfully taking handfuls of sea water and dousing the object of her affection. So playfully, in fact, that it bordered dangerously close to flirtation. Flirtation was deadly, though, and neither one of them would admit to doing it, at least, not at the time. They couldn't admit to it, even if they wanted to. Because whenever she swam around, carefree, there was always one watching, under the shade of an umbrella, gray eyes intent on her, a constant reminder that life was never whimsical as she wanted it to be.

An unlit cigarette dangled from her soft pink lips and several times during her flight, she contemplated stopping and enjoying it, for it was her last. Every time the thought came to her, she never stopped, however, always choosing to lengthen the gap as much as possible. She knew what would happened if she stopped for too long.

There was only one place she knew of that she would be relatively safe. One person she considered to be almost family. It was just that matter of getting off the planet again. And she hoped the person she was thinking about was still living at the same place.

She sighed. She would find out soon enough.

_Lyrics from "Julia" by Fefe Dobson._


	2. Escape From Perdition

_I see you with flowers in your hair...Julia...  
__Running around without a care...your days were numbered, yeah..._

Two: Escape from Perdition

She would have liked to tell anyone who asked the truth about her upbringing without throwing in a lie here or there. But that was damn near impossible, because she didn't have the same sort of childhood one would think a syndicate member had. She hadn't witnessed her father's death at the hands of the enemy. Her mother wasn't an assassin. None of her uncles or aunts or grandparents claimed to be carrying on traditions of syndicate greatness. No, she was the only one of her kind. She always was and would be.

"Where did you say you grew up again?" Countless men would ask her as they bought her drinks in bars all over the solar system. She would look at them with a small smile that she supposed could appear whimsical to anyone who didn't know her, take a sip from whatever drink she happened to be holding, and sigh.

"Venus. Isn't that where all woman come from?" Depending on who she was talking to, she may or may not add the little detail of the dilapidated area of the second largest city on Venus: Devil's Cauldron. Or at least, that's what it was called by its residents. She didn't exactly know its real name. It sounded like a place someone such as herself would be born and raised. The truth was, she'd only been to Venus twice, both times to visit her sister, who lived in a nice neighborhood with her two children and husband. She'd heard of Devil's Cauldron during one of her trips, and the name stuck with her since.

Actually, Julia was a born and bred Ganymedean; a fisherman and a seamstress' daughter. The world of the syndicates was only something she learned about from the chilling news reports of suspicious deaths or explosions. She never thought of it to be the life she would choose. But she fell into it, like so many other things in her life.

When she was sixteen she decided that, after living the comfortable suburban existance her parents worked hard to provide for her, she wanted to go out into the world. Ganymede was not where she wanted to make a name for herself. Ganymede was not where she _could_ make a name for herself. She left her parents without one word of goodbye, with hardly any money in her pocket, and a backpack slung over her shoulders. Her goal was the spaceport. How she would get there and how she would get on a ship was a matter she could work out once she was gone. Going was the only thing of importance, the destination was anywhere.

"Shouldn't you be in school, young lady?" Her unknown path was the little problem with Julia's ambition and was the one little thing that could ruin everything. She was the perfect target for cops patrolling random neighborhoods. She was old enough not to have to be in school, but she obviously didn't want to be sent back home.

"No," she replied simply, staring at the youngish looking officer that had stopped her. She squinted to see the name on the badge. "Officer Black."

"Where are you off to?"

"The spaceport."

"No family?" Julia looked at him, gauging his personality against what she could say. The ideal scheme popped into her head and it was all she could do to stop herself from laughing at the sheer brillance of it. She sighed and lowered her head. Forced tears began flowing freely from her eyes.

"N-no. They left without me," she sobbed, covering her face with her hands. The officer looked surprised at her sudden show of emotion. He scratched his beard slightly, looking around nervously. He gently, yet awkwardly, patted her on the shoulder.

"Don't cry, little lady. I'm sure they didn't leave without you."

"B-but the ship is gone!" The officer raised an eyebrow, scratching his beard again. He now went from nervous to confused. Julia hoped this continued going the way it was. She seemed to have been spotted by the perfect law enforcer. "The lady said it left a half hour ago!"

"Do you have any family on Ganymede?"

"N-no. We were on vacation." Officer Black frowned. She could tell he was wondering how anyone could possibly forget their child in a place where they had no family. She scrutinized him inconspicuously, trying to quickly assess his gulibility ratio. After a second or two, she had a little mental biography of him that she knewgiven the size of Ganymede and the fact that she had lived there all her life, among other thingshad to be accurate. The tough ISSP officer wasn't married, had no children or pets, lived in an apartment, most likely with his girlfriend. And, when he wasn't busy protecting society, he fished, as was the favorite pastime of all adult males she knew. "I have seven other brothers and sisters. They must have been distracted."

"That seems a little irresponsible to me, regardless of how many kids they have to look after. Maybe you shouldn't go back to them." _Oh no, that's not the way to go, sir. I'll have to steer you in a different direction somehow._

"It was my fault officer, I swear it. Don't blame them!" She started a fresh wave of tears, hoping the officer would get so distraught by her that he would agree to anything to make her stop. He was her ticket off this satallite. Better yet, he was her ticket off this satallite for free. She prayed that, as he looked at her with a mixture of concern and weariness, he didn't suddenly notice that the sorrow she was expressing, with excess tears and exaggerated sobs, did not touch her eyes. She, of course, was not sad in the slightest, and never would be, at the prospect of leaving the only home she ever knew to persue a new path. It was time for something else. She was tired of living each day as though it was the same as the last. She was beginning to feel detached, like she was merely a spectator and at any moment, the show that she was watching would end and she would be thrown back into whatever she was going before the show began. She wasn't leaving to find something more, she was leaving to find her life. The show was boring, she wanted to go to a different one. These were deep thoughts for a mere sixteen year old girl, yet they were thoughts that would grow deeper and feel truer as she grew older.

"What kind of person would I be if I let people like that keep their" Officer Black's remark was cut off by a call on him comm. She waited, patiently, wiping the tear streaks from her cheeks. _He'll ask if I have a comm. Then he'll ask for a number to reach them by. Then it could go two ways: he'll call them and tell them to come get me while I wait at the station, or he'll call them and tell them that he's sending me._ Julia's incredible knack for predicting a person's reaction was something she had picked up during years of manipulation. She usually knew more about someone before they said hello than they would ever know about her. It was useful, in more ways than one, to be able to know which method was right to get what she wanted without making it look like she did anything at all. It became more useful with age.

Officer spoke for a few minutes on his comm. becoming surlier the more he spoke. Finally, he cut off the conversation. His jaw worked as though he had some scathing reply that just couldn't quite come out. Suddenly he looked at Julia like he hadn't realized she was still there.

"All right. I'm going to send you back to Mars. Let the Martian government deal with your unfit parents. Give me your number so I can tell them to at least meet you at the spaceport." Julia supressed the complete joy she felt at having her plan go the way she wanted. Instead she rattled off a number she had dialed more times than she had dialed her own number. The officer wrote down the number, anger still radiating from him, then he told her to follow him to the spaceport, which was where she was ambling toward when he stopped her. She wondered, distantly, what had been said over the comm. to make him so angry, but she didn't ask, for that might have changed the current outcome.

By the time they reached the port, he had calmed down a bit. "I'm going to call your folks then buy your ticket. You go sit down over there." He pointed at a nearby bench.

"Can I go to the bathroom first?" She asked sweetly. He looked irked for a moment, then nodded curtly. She thanked him and hurried off to the restroom. She did a quick check of the stalls before ducking into one, pulling out her own comm. She pressed the redial button. There was a slight pause before she saw her friend's face.

"Hey, Jul. Did you leave yet?" Her friend smirked slyly. She had told Julia the night before that she didn't think Julia's plan would work, and that she would get caught the moment she left the house. Julia had shrugged at the comment, remarking that if she did get caught, she would try again when the time was right.

"No. Listen, Cat. A police officer is about to call you, asking if you're my mother. Try to make it sound like you are, okay?" Cat raised an eyebrow.

"You're not in trouble, are you?"

"Would it change your answer if I was?"

"Well, no, I guess not. I'm going to need an explanation of this later."

"No problem." She disconnected the call and left the bathroom, not before wetting her hands and grabbing a paper towel to walk out with as a prop. She had to make it look like she actually went to the bathroom, after all.

She spotted the officer talking to one of the ticket people so she sat down on the bench he had pointed out before. Julia looked around. The port was pretty empty; kind of depressing if the cloudy weather was factored into the mood. The only people there were maintenance workers and a few tourists waiting for the next ship off the tiny water world. Everyone looked bored, no one looked familiar, and none of them looked at her. As she sat there, she thought about what she was going to be leaving behind. She knew she wasn't going to miss anything or anyone, but she considered the fact that there was a possiblity that she would be missed. Her father, especially would, for she was the first mate on his boat. He had taught her everything he knew about fishing and boating, bringing her on his boat before she was old enough to walk. It excited him that she showed an interest in fishing, however vague that interest might have been. She had no brothers, so she figured that he subsituted her in as the son he never had. Julia's sister paid more attention to their mother's seamstressing, something Julia had dabbled in as well, thinking the talent could be used in anything in any form. When her sister left, Julia's mother had started focusing on Julia entirelly, hoping that one day Julia would get off the "smelly fish boat" and join her in their shop. _They're going to be wondering where I am soon. Then they'll call the police and this guy might show up. If he's pissed now, he's going to be furious when he finds out that I tricked him._

As though summoned by her thoughts, Officer Black walked over to her, ticket in hand. He gave it to her with a sigh, adjusting his cap.

"The ship leaves in ten minutes. I can't wait with you, so I'm going to have to trust that you won't miss it this time. I talked to your mother and she said someone will be there waiting for you." Julia gave him her best sweet smile. He deserved at least that for all his trouble, considering that he'd find out that she had been lying to him the entire time in before the day was out. He attempted a smile in return, but it looked a little strained.

"Thank you, sir. This was very kind of you," she said, nodding at the ticket.

"Just doing my job, little lady. Stay out of trouble." Julia smiled again, this time some of the mischief she had been trying to hide slipped into it.

"I will, Officer Black, I will."

* * *

_Lyrics from "Julia" by Fefe Dobson_


	3. Road to Destruction

_Let the sunlight show your face… Julia…No one knows you in this place…Julia…I see there's a distance in your eyes…Julia…Can I even reach you if I try, or is this goodbye?_

Three: Road to Destruction

"I don't understand why you just didn't come here. Wouldn't that have been easier?" Julia sighed at the hurt look Cat was giving her. Julia finished explaining the situation with the cop to her a moment before. The truth was, Julia hadn't even considered going to Jupiter; Mars had been the first planet to pop into her head. She had always read stories and saw TV shows glamorizing the planet and its inhabitants. And as she looked around at the beautiful scenery, she knew it wasn't a mistake that she chose the paradise as her new residence. "You haven't come over in four years."

"I know, Cat, but Mars is amazing!" Julia held out the comm. so her friend could see the view of the ocean she was looking at. "Besides, your mother would have called mine, and I would be on my way home as we speak. And the point was to go somewhere I've never been."

"Mars is big."

"Jupiter is bigger."

"You're going to be all alone."

"I can handle it." Cat sighed, knowing there was no way Julia would change her mind. The two of them had known each other for almost their whole lives. Catalina used to live on Ganymede, right down the street from Julia, up until Cat's father died. Her mother didn't want to stay on Ganymede, where the only source of income was basically fishing, which is that was what her father had done, so she packed them up and shuttled them to Jupiter, hoping the enormous planet would have far more opportunities, and far less memories of her late husband. The two friends saw each other once in a while, given that, although Ganymede was a satellite of Jupiter, and thus not ridiculously far away, neither Julia's parents nor Cat's mother had enough money to transport the girls back and forth frequently. So they were forced to continue their friendships over the phone and through letters, staying as close as two people on two different celestial bodies could be.

"Fine. At least call me from time to time so that I know you're all right. How are you going to survive out there?" Cat asked, sounding disdainful. "I heard Mars is expensive."

"All I need to do is find a job and a place to stay. It can't be that hard." Those words could have been her doom, however it seemed to Julia that she had a pretty full supply of luck. That wasn't a problem for her at the moment, but she felt as though she was being cheated out of the hardships that everyone was supposed to live through. Life could not have possibly been as easy as it was for her. _Maybe I shouldn't complain about it now, considering I'm thousands of miles from home with no money and nowhere to live. _

As soon as she stepped out of the spaceport and onto Martian soil, she felt like she _was_ home. Mars was a spectacularly gorgeous planet. She instantly knew why she Mars was the first thing to pop into her head; it had been calling her. She gazed around in awe at what a sign told her was Tharsis City, wondering why she hadn't heard Mars' call sooner.

Julia walked confidently down the street, trying to blend into the crowd of mingling Martians. She had already gotten this far, she wasn't going to try and get herself caught by looking like an overexcited kid skipping school. This was her chance to finally do something with her existence, instead of wasting away amidst the smell of rotting fish and seawater.

"Hey! Hey, you! Stop!" Julia froze. _I hardly took three steps on this planet! No one can work that fast—_ Just as she was pondering whether or not it was a good plan to run, a tall, lanky boy blew past her, sardonic smile on his face.

"Excuse me," he said casually as he jogged by. Julia looked back and found a shop owner waving angrily at the boy, though making no move to chase him. After a minute or two, the man grunted in frustration and walked back into his shop. When Julia looked back to see the boy, he was long gone.

"Well, it looks like I just witnessed my first robbery on Mars," she muttered to herself and continued to walk. She had no idea where she was going, she was just hoping that circumstances would still be on her side and something would occur that would be favorable to her. Finding a job, for one, would be entirely convenient right about then.

"Ran away from home, eh?" A voice addressed her before she saw the owner. She looked around and found the fluffy haired boy, standing in an alley, leaning against a wall with a cigarette dangling precariously from his between his lips. She frowned slightly; smoking was a disgusting habit.

"What makes you think that?" She snapped lightly.

"Hm. Bulging backpack, lost and suspicious look in your eyes, the fact that you froze when that guy was shouting at me to stop. A lot of little things lead me to that conclusion, you see."

"Yeah, you were awfully observant for a person trying not to get caught for stealing." This boy had nerve, analyzing her like she was some sort of closet case and he was her shrink. Especially since she had just witnessed him commit a crime.

"You should make it a little less obvious. You're gonna get caught yourself," he advised calmly, as though he didn't notice the bitterness in her tone. He either didn't notice, or didn't care, either way it irked her.

"Well, thanks for the advice," Julia said sarcastically, and turned to walk away.

"Where are you from?"

"Is it any of your business?"

"No," he answered truthfully, blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth. He shoved his free hand into his pocket and let the other hold the cigarette while he spoke. _He is so damned arrogant. _Be that as it may, she felt compelled to answer his simple question anyway.

"Ganymede."

"Hm."

"Feel enlightened now that you know?"

"Not really. Am I supposed to?"

"Not really." They stood in silence for a moment, Julia contemplating what exactly was keeping her there, talking to this hooligan. Something about him, though, indicated that he wasn't a hooligan. He was something more. _Maybe a delinquent. _But it was even more than that. This rusty eyed kid seemed to have far more experience under his belt than any kid his age should. Experience that Julia liked completely.

"Do you need somewhere to stay?" Julia narrowed her eyes at the invitation, wondering where he was going to suggest she go. Then again, there was a good chance it was her luck, coming up at the opportune moment. Sometimes she wondered if all this good karma was going to come back in reverse one day.

"Maybe. Why?"

"There's this woman I know, real nice, she's got a room for rent above her shop. Maybe you could stay there, maybe work for your rent." He paused, taking another puff from his cigarette. "That is, if you need a place."

"Why are you helping me?"

"I didn't know I needed a reason to be a nice person nowadays."

"What's this woman's name?"

"Annie. I can take you to her place if you want." Julia thought for a second. There was really nothing wrong with the boy, it was just a matter of if she wanted to trust some random stranger she just observed stealing. _There's no honor among thieves._ However, he had no real reason to steer her wrong, aside from perhaps getting his kicks by tormenting a foreign girl. She really had nothing to lose, and if it turned out that this kid _was_ a delinquent, then she would chalk it up to bad karma and learn from her mistake.

"All right. What's your name anyway?"

"They call me Spike."

"Who's they?"

"If I like you enough, maybe you'll find out." Julia snorted derisively, making Spike smirk. "And you are?"

"Julia."

"Well, Julia, welcome to Mars."

* * *

Thank you to my reviewer.

P

_Lyrics from "Julia" by Fefe Dobson_


	4. Running From Shadows

_You put your faith in dreams that kill…Julia…Lying with beauty, breath so still, she couldn't be trusted…_

Four: Running from Shadows

Julia spent most of her afternoons with Annie, sweeping up the dingy shop, ignoring everything and everyone who were not there for the old porno magazines or warm soda. As it happened, there were a lot of people like that. Julia didn't really know what was going on, and she wasn't sure if she even wanted to know. She had a job and Annie let her stay in the room above the shop that was all that mattered. She would do all she could to keep said job and place to live and if that meant being blind, deaf, and dumb, she'd do it without question.

She occasionally saw Spike saunter in the shop and he and Annie would talk a while, usually ending their conversations with Annie kicking Spike out good-naturedly, or warning him to be careful. Julia was curious about who she was associating with, however her curiosity was so strong as to jeopardize what could be considered a good thing.

"You've swept that same spot about twenty times," Spike's familiar jeering drawl interrupted her thoughts.

"It's dirty," she replied, pausing her tedious sweeping to look at him. Every time she saw him, there seemed to be a new mystery about him. A new aspect about his already unknown personality that intrigued her more than what kind of establishment Annie was actually running. She knew that nothing about Spike was any of her business, but that fact didn't stop her from wondering, imagining, and guessing.

"Or you're neurotic."

"I'm doing my job."

"And what a good job you're doing. Oh, by the way, those kids were here and stole three candy bars again." Spike winked at her and sauntered out of the shop. Julia watched him leave before dropping her broom and leaping over to the candy display. Sure enough, three bars were missing from their places.

"Shit. That comes out of my pay," she moaned, picking up the inventory sheet and marking down the three missing bars. Whenever Spike came around there always seemed to be something missing. She knew it wasn't him, for she watched him more carefully than she watched everything else, and that was the problem. When he was around, she didn't pay attention to loitering customers and that led to theft. "I'm going to hear it from Annie again."

"Here what from Annie again?" Annie questioned, coming out of the back room. Julia sighed, sliding the list over to her boss.

"Those kids came again."

"If I were you I'd find them. They owe you a lot of money." Julia frowned, picking up her broom to resume her idle work. Annie was nice enough, and Julia was beyond appreciative for being employed, however sometimes she wished Annie would lighten up. It wasn't Julia's fault that those kids felt the need to make her already low pay lower. "Julia?"

"Hm?" Julia replied distractedly. She was thinking about what she would do to those kids if she ever caught them.

"How do you feel about Spike?" Julia swallowed but did not look up. What did Annie think? Was she going to blame the thefts on something stupid, like Julia having a crush on Spike? That was ridiculous. Spike was merely a distraction. And she could easily give up her interest in him to focus on her work. It was just, he provided entertainment during an otherwise uneventful day, that's all. And he was so intriguing. Who else would rob one store and frequent another?

"He's okay, I guess. Why?"

"Would you mind going with him to run an errand for me tomorrow?" Julia raised an eyebrow. This could have been the perfect opportunity to prod into Annie's second life of sorts, yet Julia kept her questions at bay.

"Will I get paid extra? I don't usually work on Saturdays."

It perhaps could have been in Julia's best interest to ask Annie what exactly she would have to do while working closely with Spike. That way, she could have disagreed to it before she found herself waist deep in garbage.

"Big bonus," Julia grumbled, shoving her hands up to her elbows into the filth. "And I want to be paid for every candy bar those disgusting kids stole."

"What are you mumbling about?"

"This is nauseating, Spike. Did you know this was what we were going to be doing?"

"Can't say that I did. I'm sure Annie didn't elaborate specifically because she knew we wouldn't do it, obviously. I thought I would be doing something a lot more…dangerous."

"This is dangerous to our heath enough as it is. How much more danger do you want?" Spike snorted and continued to search, keeping his back to her. She dug around her own little corner wishing she was anywhere else but there. _I would even go home. Hell, I would love to go home rather than do this._

They worked in silence for a few moment, Spike covering his usual sarcastic smile with a look of utter contempt, Julia berating herself for not asking questions before agreeing to this nasty little job. _It's all because of him. He has to be so damned appealing. I wouldn't be up to my armpits in trash if he weren't so interesting._

"Has Annie told you anything about what's going on?"

"Going on where? Here? I know just as much as you do."

"No. I mean with the shop. You can't be so blind that you can't see what's going on."

"I try to be as blind as I can. There's no sense in getting involved with things bigger than I am."

"That's pretty smart of you." Spike paused and lit a cigarette without touching the stick with his repulsive hands. He offered one to her.

"I've told you a thousand times I don't smoke, Spike."

"It's never too late to start."

"Or quit." He chuckled lightly, dangling the cigarette from his mouth to continue the search. They were looking for a ring that Annie claimed she lost. She said it was given to her by her husband and she loved it as much as her wedding ring. Julia had the sneaking suspicion that they were not going to find anything, and she wondered if Spike felt the same way.

"Do you want to know?"

"I don't want anything to be told to me that could potentially shorten my life."

"All right." They continued to work in silence, but the silence was killing Julia. She did want to know, she really did, she just didn't want to know something that would require utmost secrecy. She didn't know how she would react if she was tortured for whatever information she had, which could happen if what she thought was happening around her was really happening.

"Okay, fine. Tell me."

"You said you didn't want to know anything that would potentially shorten your life."

"Stop being dramatic." Spike snorted in amusement. Brushing his hands together he hopped out of the garbage pile. He reached his hand up, apparently to help her out as well. Without taking his hand, she jumped out the same way he did. She wasn't used to a boy helping her, and she wouldn't start getting used to it then.

"You're an interesting kid," Spike remarked, cleaning his hands off on the towel they brought.

"Kid?"

"What do you know about syndicates?"

"Not a lot. Just that they operate all over the universe. And that the ISSP is so useless to stop them that some of the officers are joining them undercover."

"Pretty much the most important stuff."

"So is Annie part of a syndicate?"

"Not part of exactly. Just…well I don't really know the particulars about Annie. What I do know is most of the time it's syndicate guys that go in her shop."

"So? I'm sure syndicate guys go in and out of shops all the time. That doesn't mean Annie has anything to do with them." Spike sighed almost condescendingly.

"It's that kind of ignorance that won't get you far in the world." Spike lit up another cigarette and began walking back to Annie's. Julia wasn't sure if she wanted to follow. "And I knew we weren't looking for anything real. Annie wanted us out of the shop for the afternoon."

Never had she thought she was ignorant of the world. Spike's rude awakening struck her hard. She would spend her nights awake and wondering how she could stop walking through the world knowing nothing but what she was told. She was observant, but apparently not enough to learn everything.

After spending a year with her head down and her broom constantly moving, Julia decided there had to be more. She got that familiar itch to move on again, though this time it wasn't an itch to change scenery; she liked Mars a lot better than Ganymede. She wanted a new job.

"Have you worked in a hospital before?"

"Once. Back home."

"For how long?"

"Two years." Julia would never know how it came about that lying was so easy for her. It was like a sixth sense that almost always came in handy.

"Well, you seem qualified enough to candy stripe. But I must warn you," the man who was interviewing her leaned forward and Julia did the same out of impulse. He looked nervous about what he was about to say and that intrigued her. "This is the man hospital that the syndicates use, mainly because of our don't ask don't tell policy. We don't care about how the injuries were received; we only fix them and get our money. And the syndicates like that. Do you think you can stick to the philosophy?"

"It's been my philosophy for my whole life, I think I can handle it."

"Good. When can you start?" She didn't know that getting her first real job would be as effortless as adding a year to her life and fudging some work experience. Her luck still surprised her sometimes.

It was a great decision on Julia's part to work at the hospital. Not only did she learn valuable medical information, such as the fact that giving someone sutures was about the same a sewing a shirt, a skill she had since she was able to walk, but she learned different things about the syndicates that had people end up there. Mostly it was the Red Dragons and the White Tigers that came and went, however occasionally she would treat a Blue Wolf or two.

She discovered early on that Spike was right: there was a lot about life that she didn't know.

"Julia, big car accident coming in, get two rooms ready." Julia hopped up from her seat at the receptionist's desk and hurried off to do as she was told. It was times like these when the hospital got really exciting. Everyone rushed around making preparations and then the victims would come and there wouldn't be a free nurse in the entire place. Julia liked being busy; it stopped her from thinking about things—or people—that would otherwise distract her.

"Is this room ready?" Julia looked up in time to see three paramedics and two doctors wheel in a patient in a stretcher. There was blood everywhere and she was unable to make out where the person's face was.

"Yes, it's ready," she replied. She helped the paramedics hoist the patient onto the bed and that's when she caught a glimpse of a tangle of green hair. "Spike!"

"You know him?" One of the doctors asked. The paramedics ran out, probably to help with the other victims.

"I do. What happened?"

"There was a high speed chase. Apparently he was behind the wheel and somehow managed to crash into a tree going about a hundred miles per hour. The tree fell and landed on the two cars that were chasing him. Four people are dead and he's damn lucky he and his front passenger are not one of them." The doctor began stripping the layers of blood soaked clothes off of Spike's mangled body.

"Where's the passenger?" Julia asked, hoping it wasn't someone else she knew.

"I don't know. He's in the other room. Okay, he's going to need to be x-rayed. I suspect there's a lot of internal damage, hopefully not to bad, but most likely it will be. Get him on a respirator and cleaned up then we'll take him to the ER." Usually Julia easily followed the doctors' directions, but today she found it difficult to concentrate. Whenever she moved Spike to either place the respirator tube or clean blood off of him, she got a horrible image of her accidentally killing him because she did something wrong. She did not like seeing Spike so helpless and beaten. Even though she wouldn't admit it to him, Spike was her friend. Probably her only good friend on Mars. She did not want to lose him.

"Julia, you're not paying attention. Why don't you go work on one of the other victims," a nurse told her after she attempted to wipe Spikes face with the end of the nurse's dress. Julia would have argued, but she knew it was for the best that she didn't try to take care of Spike when his life was on the line.

"All right." She went next door and found a far less chaotic scene. Another doctor and nurse were looking over a tall lanky man. The nurse was slowly stitching a gash in the man's head while he sat there calmly. The doctor was checking his blood pressure and the like.

"Ah, Julia, good. Can you finish up here for me?" The doctor asked, handing her his clipboard. She nodded and took over, taking the man's wrist to check his pulse.

"All done. Julia, when you're done with that, can you bandage his head and make sure he doesn't need stitches anywhere else?"

"Sure." The nurse left, leaving Julia alone with the white haired man.

"It seems they rely on you quite a bit here," the man observed. She jumped a bit at the sound of his voice, which reminded her strangely of steel. It was cold and emotionless, but nonetheless intriguing. She laughed nervously, taking his temperature.

"It's not that, I'm just one of the only candy stripers on duty today, and it's easier for them to get me to do easy things. Especially in a situation like this when there are so many critical patients at once." She began to bandage his head, covering his newly stitched wound with gauze almost the same color as his hair.

"You seem a little young to be working in a hospital."

"I'm eighteen."

"Are you really?"

"Yes." The man snickered lightly, a sound almost as disturbing as his voice. She fell silent, concentrating on checking for other wounds. After a while the silence and her curiosity got the better of her. "This goes against hospital policy, but my friend is in there in serious condition and I need to know why. Could you tell me what happened?"

"Who is your friend?"

"Spike. Spike Spiegel." The man briefly raised an eyebrow. It was so fast, Julia wasn't sure if she had even seen it.

"Spike. He's a reckless driver."

"He was driving? Why was he being chased?"

"The better question is why isn't he always being chased?" Julia let this go as a matter that was none of her concern. She was okay with that, at least for now. Soon she would want to know why anything Spike did was none of her concern. She didn't think to consider that Spike could have been part of one of the syndicates he so revered and she so feared.

"Were you in one of the cars?"

"Yes."

"How come you're not that injured?"

"Seatbelts save lives."

"Are you friends with Spike?"

"I thought you said is was against hospital policy to ask so many questions."

"It's only against policy if you're asking potential syndicate members."

"How do you know who is a potential syndicate member or not?"

"I guess."

"I see. Are you done?"

"Yes. Are you in pain?"

"No."

"Then you can go." The man stood up and made his way to the door. "Make sure you come back in a week to get those stitches removed."

"Will do. See you around. Julia." Julia wasn't sure why, but when he said her name she got a chill of pleasure and a chill of fright at the same time. She both hoped to and dreaded seeing him again.

* * *

-P

_Lyrics from "Julia" by Fefe Dobson_


	5. Enter the Dragon

_Time to show me the will to change, and I swear I will help you, I will..._

Five: Enter the Dragon

It took about two weeks for Spike to heal enough to walk. He was smashed up pretty badly in that accident. He broke three ribs on both sides, broke his left leg, fractured his left arm, shattered his right collarbone, and needed fourteen stitches to close the gash on his head. For four days he had been in and out of surgery. A doctor told Julia that he had been inches from losing one of his lungs. To say the least, she was glad when he woke up one morning and decided to go and find her. She had been afraid that he would be bed ridden forever.

"What did I do to be lucky enough to be treated by such a beautiful nurse?" He asked when she walked into his room carrying his lunch. She rolled her eyes. He loved to tease her and had been doing it every chance he got as soon as he was able to talk again.

"Candy striper. Not nurse," she replied, placing the tray in front of him. "All the nurses are busy."

"Oh well. Same thing." He opened his mouth wide enough for her to help him drink. "Is my sponge bath next?"

"If it is, I won't be giving it to you."

"Aw, that's not fair. I'm really dirty too." Julia smirked, trying to keep herself from laughing at his dumb joke.

"You're in an awfully good mood today. Why is that?"

"I don't know. Happy to be alive, I suppose."

"Your dumb ass is lucky to be alive."

"Is it hospital policy to insult your patients?" Julia sighed, helping him eat a spoonful of soup. They still wouldn't allow him solid foods until they were absolutely positive he had no more internal injuries.

"You were a lot more pleasant to be around when you were unconscious." Spike smiled defiantly, opening his mouth for more soup. She fed him for a bit, not saying anything, until the question that had been burning on her tongue for two weeks singed her enough for her to want to ask it. "So why were you being chased?"

"Because there's nothing else to do around here."

"I'm serious, Spike. What were you doing?"

"So am I. I wasn't doing anything."

"Spike, you could have been killed that night."

"So?"

"You don't care?" Spike shrugged, then instantly regretted it due to his injuries. Julia shook her head. He was going to seriously hurt himself again one day, and she might not be around to save him. She sighed, feeding him another spoonful. She didn't know why she felt like she had to stop Spike from killing himself. She wasn't his keeper and she wasn't even sure if she considered him a friend. But she cared about him. Her heart had skipped several beats when she realized it was him lying almost unrecognizable on a stretcher with no one sure if he was going to make it. Maybe she thought subconsciously that she owned him something since he had helped her find a job and a place to stay on her first day on the planet. The least she could do for him was look out for him and make sure he didn't die at the age of seventeen.

"I think you should care," she said after a moment's quiet.

"Why? Do _you _care?"

"I don't want you do get killed doing something stupid, if that constitutes as caring then yes, I do." Spike laughed weakly. She glared at him. "What is so funny about that?"

"You're probably the only person in this entire planet who cares about a delinquent like me."

"So? I don't give a damn about the entire planet." A nurse popped into the room, humming cheerfully, holding Spike's sponge bath materials.

"Hello, Julia," the nurse chirped. "How's our little mummy?"

"He's fine. He just ate," Spike replied almost as cheerfully as the nurse. Julia wanted to laugh, but she was still a little peeved at Spike to give him the satisfaction of knowing he amused her. The nurse smiled, placing the bath supplies on the empty bed next to Spike. "Bath time, eh?"

"Yep. I'll be right back with the water." The nurse practically skipped out of the room, leaving them alone again.

"I'll be all right, Jules. You don't have to worry about me."

"That doesn't mean I'm not going to." Julia picked up his empty tray and started for the door. If she really was the only person on the planet who was concerned for him then at least he had someone.

"Goodbye, Julia."

"See you, Space Cowboy."

* * *

Julia didn't see Spike for two years. By then she'd saved enough money to get her own apartment and had almost forgotten about their last encounter. Sometimes, though, when she was sitting at the receptionist's desk and a call came in about an accident, she would brace herself when she looked at the figure on the stretcher, hoping that she wouldn't see a mop of green hair. She never did, however, and her thoughts would wander from Spike to something else. She had somehow managed to lose the only friend she had on the planet, other than Annie, who she visited occasionally when walking home from work.

Her apartment was located on the far side of Tharsis City, and for a nineteen year old, it was pretty nice. It wasn't as furnished as she would have liked, but she was working on that.

She wasn't exactly located in a ghetto, nevertheless she still eyed the door suspiciously when a soft knock one day interrupted her reading.

"It could just be the landlord," she told herself, standing up and reaching for the bat she kept under the couch just in case. She walked to the door, looked out the peephole, and was in disbelief with who she saw.

"Spike?" She slowly opened the door just in case he wasn't who she though he was.  
"The one and only." He flashed his trademarked sarcastic smile, and she knew she wasn't seeing things.

"Oh man," she said in shock, ushering him in. "I haven't seen you in so long!"

"I know. I was missing my favorite nurse."

"Candy striper," she corrected with a laugh. "Sit down. Do you want something to drink?"

"Naw, I'm okay." He looked around as he ambled toward the couch. He seemed either mildly amused or vaguely interested. "Nice place you have here."

"Thanks. How did you find me? Did Annie tell you?"

"Yeah. I was surprised when she told me you moved out. I suppose I couldn't expect you to live there your whole life."

"I figured it was time for a change."

"Change is good." They fell silent, and for the first time, Julia got a good look at him. She didn't like what she saw. He was still as tall and lanky as ever and his hair was still a mess of curly forest green. But there was something different about how he carried himself. And that could have been because of what he was wearing.

"So, you're part of the Dragons now." Spike looked down at his finely tailored suit and unmistakable crest that ran across his chest. He sighed, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Yeah."

"I guess that's what you wanted all along."

"I didn't choose this. It sort of chose me."

"I remember you telling me when we were sixteen that you were interested in that sort of thing."

"I was sixteen. I was reckless. I didn't care about anything."

"And you care now?"

"I've cared ever since I got into that accident." She found that hard to believe. He had told her himself that she was the only person on the planet who have a flying fuck about what happened to him. There was no way that had changed.

"You're old enough to know what you've gotten yourself into. I don't have to tell you." She folded her arms across her chest and looked out the window. She couldn't see anything more than the pathetic orange streetlights that cast unnerving shadows on the sidewalks when one was walking alone late at night.

"Julia, don't be mad," Spike said, almost pleadingly. This was one of the first times she'd seen him so serious, and it made her slightly nervous.

"I'm not mad."

"Are you sure?"

"Why would I be mad, Spike? Because you're putting your life on the line everyday? Because you've probably killed as many people as I have helped save? Because you're a criminal?" Spike caught her in an intense stare that she had never seen from him before. She didn't like this new Spike. His graveness made her worried. Julia held his stare, trying to convince herself that he was the same person even though everything about him was different. Especially his eyes.

She leaned forward, attempting to figure out why his eyes were different other than the fact that there was a layer of solemnity that blocked his former amusement. A funny feeling came over her after a while, and it hit her.

"Have they always been like that?" she accidentally asked out loud.

"What?"

"Your eyes are two different colors." He broke his gaze with her and looked out the window like she had been previously doing. She wondered if he thought the same things about the streetlights or if he had lost any fear of the world he might have had when he agreed to serve the Dragons. "What happened?"

"Nothing." She had the feeling that there was something seriously wrong. Spike did not suddenly track her down after two years for no reason.

"Do you need my help?" She asked carefully. Maybe he was in trouble and she was his only friend. That would have made her slightly satisfied to know that Spike would go to her when in need.

"I have an offer for you."

"What kind of offer?" Spike paused, looking as though he didn't know how to reply.

"Never mind." He stood up, ready to leave. He went as far as walking out the door before she managed to stop him.

"Spike, what's wrong?"

"Can you meet me somewhere tomorrow?" She leaned against the doorframe, trying to remember her schedule for the next day. He seemed a little desperate to have her meet him, which made her not want to turn him down.

"I'm free after ten. Is that too late?"

"No, that's fine. You know the bar at the edge of town?"

"Yeah."

"I'll see you at ten thirty then." And with that Spike left Julia standing there confused and curious. What would make Spike come looking for her after two years? Why did he seem like something was terribly wrong? And what did he want to offer her? Tomorrow wouldn't come fast enough for her; she just wasn't sure what it would bring.

* * *

Thanks to my reviewers. 

P


	6. Walking the Wrong Path

_I will shine my light of hope and change and everything that might have been...if you'd only hear my warning...if you'd only hear me calling..._

Six: Walking the Wrong Path

Julia arrived at the bar before Spike did, so she helped herself to a drink, watching a heated game of pool. She was worried about Spike, worried that her friend had gotten into something that he couldn't handle. She would help him; of course, if he needed her to, she just hoped that it didn't require her to do something she wasn't prepared to do. And if he was as deep into the syndicate as she thought, that was a possibility.

The door to the bar opened with a rattle and Julia turned, leather jacket crinkling, to find Spike walking in, staring strangely at her. She smiled slightly and he slowly returned the smile. He looked confused and scared and happy and she couldn't help but want to comfort him. But the look passed almost as quickly as she saw it and right behind him another man entered, face emotionless. Julia was struck with the strange feeling that she had seen this man before, under different circumstances, probably a long time ago. And then she remembered: she had bandaged his head when he and Spike were brought into her hospital after their car accident. He was the man with the icily cold voice that intrigued and scared her. _How did Spike ever fall into company with this man?_

"Hey, Julia. I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. This is Vicious." Vicious stepped forward, extending a bony cordial hand to her. Julia shook it, hoping none of the apprehension she was feeling showed up on her face. "Vicious, this is Julia."

"We've met before," Julia stated blandly, trying not to look directly into Vicious' cold eyes. Eyes that seemed like they could make a person tell every sin they ever committed in their lifetime with just one glare. And it wouldn't be an act of repentance; it would be an act of survival.

"The woman has a good memory," Vicious replied with what would have been a grimace on someone else, but probably a smile to him. Spike seemed confused but either did not want to know or didn't care for he let the comment go.

"Julia used to work for Annie," Spike said as though this was perhaps the most important tidbit about Julia's history that he could think of.

"Really."

"Annie's a good person," Julia blurted out. She didn't know why she did it, it just felt like it was the right thing to say. After she thought about it she knew that it was a stupid thing to say and she cursed herself for losing her cool in front of this mysterious creature.

"Yeah, she is," was Vicious' answer to the nonsensical comment. Julia almost breathed a sigh of relief but caught herself before she did. "How about we sit down and get something to eat? I'm starved."

"They serve food here?" Spike asked as they made their way to a table in the back, pool players watching them out of the corner of their eyes with either envy or fear radiating from them. Julia couldn't tell which.

"Yeah."

"Hm. I never knew that."

"Because you're always too busy drinking. Among other things." Spike chuckled knowingly. _So they actually are friends. Vicious didn't just kidnap Spike and come here in hopes of another hostage. _Then again, that wasn't something Julia thought was an explanation. As intimidating as Vicious was, nothing about him screamed "criminal!" Although the only possible way Spike would know him would have to be through the syndicate.

"Spike says you two have been friends for a while," Vicious said, breaking Julia's contemplative concentration. Vicious also didn't look like a small talker, so this must have been a statement of consequence, not just an observation.

"Well yeah, a few years. He used to harass me at the shop everyday for a while. Then I'd seem him every so often." Julia watched Spike more than she paid attention to Spike. Something was going on and now she was inadvertently involved. She wanted to know what was up and she wanted to know immediately. Beating around the bush was not something she enjoyed.

"And you're a nurse."

"No. I'm a candy striper."

"Same thing," Spike cut in.

"Not really," she snapped.

"But you're basically a nurse or a nurse in training," Vicious said before Spike could retort.

"Sort of, yeah." Vicious sat back as the server came, asking what they wanted. Julia didn't order anything but the guys ordered possibly everything the bar served. After the server walked away, they talked amongst themselves, aggravating Julia to no end. There she was, thinking Spike had some life or death situation that he needed her help with, probably meeting in a public place so he wouldn't be easily spotted to beg for her aid, ask her to stay at her place until the heat died down, _something_. But no. He wanted her to meet his creepy new friend in a dingy bar for no conceivable reason other than lunkheaded Spike thinking he could set the two of them up. She wanted to smack herself for concocting melodramatic situations that could have only been a product of extreme boredom on her part and the fact that she hadn't seen Spike for so long before he came knocking at her door with two different colored eyes. _It was his eyes that bothered me the most. How did they get that way?_

When Julia was thoroughly annoyed and prepared to leave them sitting there to eat their garbage food and joke around or whatever they wanted to do, Vicious turned to her which made her freeze in place.

"How would you like a job?" he asked.

"I already have one," she responded.

"A better job then."

"Doing what?"

"The same thing you're doing now only somewhere else and with more pay." Julia thought about this. Furniture would look great in her apartment. Besides, she was starting to get that familiar itch she got when it was time for her life to change. Regularity got boring after a while and two years at the same hospital with the same people was as much routine as she could take. Working somewhere else would be a welcome shake up. That is, depending on _where _this else was.

"Who's hiring?"

"That doesn't matter."

"It does to me. Who's hiring?" Spike leaned forward, focusing that dizzying gaze on her. _How did they get that way?_

"Our boss," he said softly. Too softly. And from the way he looked at her, he didn't want her to push the matter further. Though that was all she needed to make up her mind.

"Not interested."

"Why not?" She cocked an eyebrow at him, wondering if he really wanted her to voice aloud the reasons why she wouldn't want to work in a syndicate. Even as a syndicate nurse, she'd be a criminal.

"She has the right not to want to do it, Spike. We can find someone else," Vicious said easily. During her and Spike's confrontation, he had been calmly eating. Spike looked like he wanted to argue more, but not in front of Vicious. He sighed slightly and leaned back again, taking a bite of his disgusting looking meal.

"No wonder I didn't notice they served food here," he muttered as he chewed. "I'll never be hungry enough to eat slop like this."

Julia wasn't sure if she was still welcomed at the table. Vicious appeared to have forgotten she existed the moment she declined the job offer. Spike was fidgety, poking at his food as though it were alive. When Vicious finished eating he glanced at Spike briefly before standing up. Julia finally met his gaze and almost flinched. She couldn't figure out what about him made her queasy and interested at the same time.

"Goodbye, Julia."

* * *

Spike decided that he wanted to walk Julia home and she didn't have the energy or a good reason to tell him not to, so she let him. They walked in silence until they were about halfway there, then Spike cleared his throat uneasily and motioned to a bench at a bus stop they were about to pass. She sat, sort of reluctantly, and he sat next to her, sort of sadly. 

"I've never asked you for anything before," he said slowly.

"True."

"Except for working with us."

"Yeah."

"Can you consider it a favor?"

"Why do you want me to work there so badly?"

"Why do I need a reason?"

"Because you know that I don't want to be apart of the syndicates. You've known that for as long as you've known me. Why would you ask me to join?"

"You won't be in the syndicate per say, you'll just be working for it. And all you'll be doing is stitching wounds and bandaging cuts; all stuff you're doing now."

"I'll be helping criminals."

"You'll be helping _people,_" Spike argued. She sighed. He did have a good point. Even though they weren't honest people, they were still people. And more money was so tempting.

"I have to think about it." Spike brightened slightly.

"Really?"

"Yes. Can I have until the end of the week?"

"How about until tomorrow?"

"Spike—"

"Please, Julia." Julia sighed, playing with her sunglasses. She didn't know if she could make a decision like that overnight. But Spike seemed like her desperately wanted her to answer (and agree) as fast as possible. The anxiousness he had when he was in her apartment was back, and she wondered how he was able to turn it on and off like that. She'd have to ask him one day.

"Your eyes are two different colors," she said quietly. Not the first time she'd said the comment and it wouldn't be the last time either.

"I know." She stood up. Spike gazed at her with his two toned eyes and she could see something new in his stare. Something new and unwelcome. It was an element of seriousness that had never been present in his personality before. It was as though in the two years she hadn't seen him, he'd had a whole set of life experiences that had somehow scarred him. Scarred his formally carefree, joking, innocent stare that Julia had grown to enjoy. _Where is the Spike I used to know? What happened to him?_

"Come by my apartment this time tomorrow. I'll have your answer then."

Julia couldn't concentrate the whole day she was at work. All the patients started looking alike, all the nurses, doctors, everyone was just a blur of hair and eyes and facial features. Nothing was solid anymore and Julia couldn't figure out why.

_Could I really work for something I hate? Could I be on the side I was against for so long?_ But really what did the syndicates do that she herself hadn't done before? She lied. Lying was second nature to her. She cheated her way into this job and many jobs prior. She pretty much stole the transport ticket from that cop back on Ganymede who thought she was an abandoned child looking to get home. They only thing she knew for sure that they did and she didn't was deal drugs and kill people. And those were probably the biggest things out of all other crimes.

Julia stared at the ambulance worker clones distantly as they rushed in a bloody mass that was supposed to be a woman who had somehow gotten in the way of a truck. Nothing was as it seemed. Anyone around her could have been working part time for a syndicate, selling drugs on the side, getting large sums of money to do so and keep anyone quiet who suspected something. What killed her though, was that Spike was one of them. She always knew eventually he would be, that eventually his boyish curiosity would get the better of him and he'd talk to the wrong person and find himself in a job he couldn't get out of.

"Julia! Julia!" Julia snapped out of her trance. The mass of unrecognizable human flesh was gone and in its place was a nurse, glaring at her in irritation. "Go prep room 42." Julia felt her feet carrying her but not toward room forty-two. She was moving toward the door, grabbing her purse and coat on the way. It was all mechanic, she hadn't thought about leaving the hospital, her feet just somehow knew that she wanted to. She walked slowly, purposefully, to the dimly lit dark streets of Tharsis City. It was almost ten o'clock. "Hey! Where are you going?"

"I quit," she said softly, unsure if the clone nurse had heard her. She didn't care, though. The woman would understand when Julia never came back. She would understand that Julia had set aside her morals to help a friend. She would understand that Julia couldn't be in one place for too long, that she had no one to keep her in one place for too long. And she would understand that Julia had slipped into some sort of waking dream that had taken hold of her and wouldn't let go. Julia would understand that she put her life on the line for Spike and always would, without meaning to. Her feet would know where to take her, her hands would never take the gun, and her fingers would tear his location apart, take away his existence just so he could live. Julia would understand someday, even if she didn't understand at that moment.

* * *

--P 

_Lyrics from "Julia" by Fefe Dobson_


End file.
